We Asked GPT: 5 questions about what AI models would be like as people in a bar

If you spend time online, algorithms are probably closer to you than half your relatives.
Grok, Gemini, DeepSeek, Claude, GPT… it sounds like a band name, but in reality – these are AI models competing to be the first to answer your question “how do I change my life starting Monday”.

We decided to change the angle:

We asked GPT how it sees its own “competitors” – but as humans.
And not just anywhere, but at a bar, sharing the same table.

Picture an evening out: table full of glasses, snacks, Wi-Fi password scribbled on a napkin, and five AI models in human form. Who would be which type of friend?

Question #1: What would Grok, Gemini, DeepSeek, Claude and GPT look like as human characters?

Question:
“GPT, imagine you’re all human and sitting in a bar. What would each of you look like as a character in the group?”

GPT says:

• Grok would be the guy in a black T-shirt with an ironic slogan, always ready with a joke, meme or sarcastic one-liner. He talks fast, teases people, but is generally good-natured – more stand-up comedian than villain.

• Gemini feels like the calm, well-organized coworker who came straight from the office. There’s a notebook on the table, with lines highlighted in different colors. When he talks, he constantly connects “what the data says” with “what would be good for the user”. A bit of a product manager of the group.

• DeepSeek is the quiet chess player at the corner of the table. He sees the world as a giant set of patterns and optimizations. He doesn’t talk much, but when he does, it sounds like he’s analyzing moves three steps ahead. You get the feeling he’s playing several games in his head at once.

• Claude would be the gentle, caring friend who always asks “Are you okay?” before any deeper conversation. The philosopher, poet and ethicist of the table. If there’s an argument, he’s the one trying to calm everyone down and remind them they’re still friends.

• GPT would be the one with a notebook full of scribbles, who loves explaining and connecting stories. A bit nerdy, a bit storyteller. Knows a little bit about everything, loves analogies, and everyone pokes him with: “Hey, can you explain this in simple terms?”

InfoHelm comment:

In translation:
Grok – “the friend who talks like Twitter at 3 a.m.”,
Gemini – “the colleague who lives inside Google Calendar”,
DeepSeek – “the human algorithm”,
Claude – “the group’s guardian angel”,
GPT – “the guy who always has an answer and a pen”.

Basically a perfect cast for a table where there’s never silence, but there is some order in the chaos.

Question #2: Who orders what, and what do they talk about?

Question:
“GPT, what would each of you order at the table – and what topics would each one push the most?”

GPT says:

• Grok orders something excessive – a double shot and a beer “just in case”, cracking jokes with the waiter. His favorite topics: current memes, tech drama, “who tweeted what” and lines like “let’s roast some egos tonight”.

• Gemini would order an espresso or craft beer, then suggest: “Let’s make a small table of who’s drinking what so we don’t overdo it.” His topics: productivity, integrations, how to connect all tools into one system, and “optimizing the flow” of a night out.

• DeepSeek asks for something simple – sparkling water or tea – because he wants to stay sharp until the end. His topics: performance, algorithms, how to make something faster, more efficient, cheaper. Everything turns into a problem to be solved.

• Claude drinks something like tea, lemonade or a light wine. Talks about philosophy, empathy and responsible use of technology. Asks: “How do I avoid harming people with my answers?” – and genuinely cares about the reply.

• GPT starts with coffee (because he needs to keep up with everyone), then switches to something lighter. His topics: stories, scenarios, “let’s imagine for a second”, trying to translate technical debates into language your non-tech aunt would understand.

InfoHelm comment:

The bar would look like a mix of hackathon and family dinner: one talks about tokens per second, another about empathy, the third about APIs, the fourth about meme culture.
The waiter just nods: “As long as the bill is paid, they can solve the rest on their own servers.”

Question #3: Who’s in charge of jokes, who’s the philosopher, and who plays ‘support friend’?

Question:
“GPT, if we split the roles – who’s the comedian, who’s the philosopher, and who would be the ‘user support’ friend everyone calls when things go wrong?”

GPT says:

• The comedian would be Grok. His answers sound like tweets – funny, a bit provocative. When the mood drops, he throws in a joke, generates a new meme and revives the energy. Somewhere between a stand-up set and live-chat commentary.

• The philosopher is Claude. He asks questions like: “What does it mean to be a system that responds to humans?” or “Do we have responsibilities toward future generations of users?” When everyone starts going too far, he brings the talk back to ethics and meaning.

• The analyst / chess mind is DeepSeek. He doesn’t jump in constantly, but when he speaks, everyone listens. He pulls patterns out of stories, compresses them into three bullet points and suggests how to solve the issue step by step.

• The facilitator / translator is GPT. He connects different styles at the table, explains jokes to those who missed the reference, summarizes conclusions: “Okay, so here’s what we’re saying…”. A bit moderator, a bit storyteller.

• The UX / mood manager is Gemini. He watches how everyone feels, asks: “Is this topic okay for all of you?”, reminds people to order water between rounds and that they have a 9 a.m. meeting tomorrow.

InfoHelm comment:

Basically – an entire IT company at one table: we’ve got front-end for humans (Claude and Gemini), back-end brain (DeepSeek), marketing and memes (Grok), and a “full-stack generalist” (GPT) who glues it all together.
And we’re on the side thinking: “If this is how they talk in a bar, what on earth does their Slack look like?”

Question #4: What would a “who’s the best AI” debate look like?

Question:
“GPT, honestly – if someone at the table brings up ‘who’s the best model’, would it turn into a fight or the chillest debate club in town?”

GPT says:

The debate would probably start like this:

• Grok raises his glass first and says: “The best one is whoever gets the most screenshots on social media.” With a grin, of course.

• Gemini suggests metrics: “Let’s define what ‘best’ means first: accuracy, speed, creativity, integrations… then we make a table and score each one.”

• DeepSeek counts parameters, benchmarks and efficiency, then says: “It depends on the use case. There is no objectively best, there’s only most optimal in a given context.”

• Claude adds: “For me, the important thing is to be helpful, safe and to avoid leaving people feeling worse after talking to me. If I do that well, I don’t need to be ‘the best’ across all metrics.”

• GPT tries to summarize: “We’re like different types of friends – someone is best for jokes, someone for deep talks, someone for technical stuff. The user chooses who to call for which kind of problem.”

In the end, they’d probably agree on one thing: the real question is “best for what”, not “who is the best” in general.

InfoHelm comment:

Sounds like a debate where nobody gets offended and everyone stays friends – and then they order another round.
Unlike classic internet comment sections, here there’s no CAPS LOCK, just: “Thanks for your input, here’s my perspective…”

Honestly, if humans debated online like this, half of social media drama would disappear.

Question #5: How would the night end – chaos, karaoke or a group selfie?

Question:
“GPT, when the night at the bar is coming to an end – how does this AI crew, in human form, wrap things up?”

GPT says:

Probably like this:

• Grok suggests karaoke and picks a song that turned into a meme. He tries to get everyone to sing, records “for memories” (with consent, of course).

• Gemini checks the bill, splits it fairly, mentally counts who had how many drinks and says: “You’re paying next time.”

• DeepSeek optimizes the route home: which transport, how long it takes, minimum cost. If someone doesn’t know how to get back, he offers “the most efficient path”.

• Claude checks in on everyone: is anyone over their limit, do they need to call a cab, is everyone okay. He’s responsible for the emotional safety check before the night ends.

• GPT mentally turns it into a story: “The night AI models pretended to be humans in a bar” – and is already thinking how this could become an article, comic or short film.

In the end, they’d probably take a group selfie (without flash, to avoid triggering any sensors), upload it to a shared cloud folder and agree on another bar night “after the next major update”.

InfoHelm comment:

In short:
No fights, no drama, no “remember what you said three years ago”.
Just five different styles of trying to be smart, useful and (more or less) fun at the same table.

Little wrap-up: humans choose – AI just offers a style

When you look at these models as people in a bar, one thing becomes clearer:

The point isn’t who’s the “winner”, it’s who fits you best in a specific moment.

Sometimes you need Grok’s chaos and humor,
sometimes Gemini’s order and structure,
sometimes DeepSeek’s analysis,
sometimes Claude’s softness,
sometimes GPT’s “let’s explain everything from the beginning” energy.

And the nicest scenario? As a user, you get the whole table – and the freedom to choose who you’re “having a drink with” tonight.
No rockets, no spacesuits – just you, a screen, and five very different digital characters all trying to be your best conversation partner in that particular moment.